SIGH!

Okay, I think I’m stuck.

Whilst surfing NatSun the other day, I came across this video and I realised this was me too! I’m a year down the line, my hair has grown incredibly and whilst I’m happy with the length, I want more! I feel like it’s not as easy going as when I first cut it or the couple months afterwards and it’s not long enough yet to braid a few big braids to go to sleep in. I still have to braid about 12 or so mabutu before going to bed. I’m wary about doing flat twists now cos my hair just ends up sticking up and looking so uncurly. I’ve got length, and that’s the most apparent when I blow dry it which I’m very tempted to do on wash day now cos going back to shorter looking hair is not appealing to me. It’s like I’m impatient to finally get to a length that’s like “WOAH!” without stretching it so much. The way my hair is so tight, I don’t know if that will ever happen. When my hair is wet, it’s coily and springy but of course it looks shorter than it actually is. To be honest, I’m not too sure what to do at this point, other than braiding or weaving for a bit. I undid my chunky braids yesterday, after two weeks. Unfortunately, those braids have a short lifespan. But in doing them, I realised my new found appreciation for braids, especially with being so busy at work. For a few weeks, I didn’t stress about my hair, or think about how I’m going to wear it until I was in front of the mirror doing it. So I think I’d like to continue doing braids, while giving my fro a break in between. With it being winter, I want to keep those breaks as short as possible. Question is, what do I do with my hair while it’s out?

I think I’m feeling uninspired and at the same time concerned for my fro. I’m uninspired cos I have tried quite a few hairstyles, as many as my hair would allow and I don’t seem to be seeing many new ones out there that are like DAMN. It’s more like envying someone’s texture or length, that their hair looks so curly and bouncy. So I think in a way I want to get to that point where I can achieve that look. I used to get it by doing flat twists but now my hair doesn’t seem to be cool with that. Then for awhile the mabutu thing was working and technically still does but it’s not a sure bet every time. Yesterday, after washing and DCing my hair, I told myself I’d finally tried doing an actual twist out. So I got my spritz and my lemon butter, a bit of gel and started…and failed…miserably. I don’t know what happened. I thought it was going to be easy but my hair just didn’t hold…at all! So I ended up doing old faithful. Then this morning I just undid them and left my fro out. I’m getting worried for my edges because the only styles I seem to love on me require me to pull the sides or back in a way. So I’m worried about doing that a lot. I’m also concerned about the blow drying thing. I haven’t decided to actually do it regularly yet but my hair just seems to look better after I do a braid out when I’ve blow dried it. Sigh, I don’t know. The problem is this: I want to gain more length but I know that takes times, and a certain amount of protecting. I also what to give my hair breaks in between but still style it awesomely when it’s out. Now I feel it’s at an awkward stage where some things work and a lot of others don’t. Now my braid outs look…well spikey if it’s not blow dried before. And for the first time this whole year, for a second, I thought about the ease of having my hair chopped off. It really was wash and go. I know that I don’t wan tot go backwards but I’m feeling just stuck at the mo. :S

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