week, I took you through the first steps I’d recommend someone to take
to go natural. For some women, the decision isn’t one they make lightly.
This is part 2 of the blog post. For part one, click here.
3. Prepare (after preparing yourself first)
- Your significant other: Everyone’s relationship is different and the
significance of that relationship in a woman’s life is different. So
please take the following as just my advice and opinion based on my own
experience. I touched on this topic
last year and I do feel strongly about not encouraging any woman to
sacrifice such an important relationship because of hair. Whether it’s
to keep it relaxed ‘against your will’ or to chop it all off when he’s
already mentioned he’s not in. But you at least want to try to get him in right?
Once you’ve made up your mind, sit your man down and
talk to him about it. Clearly explain the reasons why you’ve decided to
go natural. The reason why I’d suggest you make your mind about it first
is to make sure you have a clear objective and you can concisely
explain your decision to your partner without leaving any room for
doubt. You can even set the conversation up as an open one to make him
feel like he’s a part of the final decision, just to soften the
potential blow. I think the key thing is to not make it seem like a rash
decision and that you’re ‘just jumping on the band wagon’. Once he’s
more open to the idea, try and include him in your quest to finding out
more about going and being natural. Keep him as updated as he allows on
your journey. Some guys might just leave you to it because hair talk
bores the hell out of them. Others might appreciate seeing the
transformation and understanding why you now have to twist your hair
every night or take a couple hours to detangle. When I was
transitioning, I was obsessed with all blogs, websites and videos
natural. It’s almost all I could think and talk about so my man was very
much included in that obsession and decision making. If it helps, you
could also discuss the date in which you’re planning on big chopping
just so he’s extra prepared.
- Your family and friends: Similarly to your significant other, your
family and friends will form your main support group. If they’re not in,
it could be quite hard for you as family is usually much more vocal
with their opinions. A simple heads up should be enough but you may want
to include a brief explanation as to why you’re doing it. Make it clear
that their support is really important to you. Keep in mind that
everyone will have different opinions about your hair whatever its
state. Some people tell me they prefer me in braids, while others loved
my relaxed hair and didn’t understand why I chopped it all off. Others
are indifferent but most have now respected the fact that I choose to
wear my hair the way I do. For some family members and friends who have
known you for a long time, it could be just as simple as giving them
time to get used to it. Once you rock it confidently and beautifully,
they’ll see that and follow suit. You never know, some might even be
inspired by you and go natural themselves.
Please note that these posts are merely my advice and based on my own experience.
Have you jumped and survived being natural? Share your tips in the comments below. Sharing is caring!